One Fine Day: THURSDAY'S THOUGHTS

I've officially become that annoying parent who dotes on their kid all the time, haven't I?!

THANKFUL FOR: I started getting migraines in middle school and I've taken medication for them since high school. It's genetic and they're usually related to stress, my sinuses, and hormones. Now that I have a baby and I've had a handful since he arrived (Hello, stress AND hormones!), I'm more grateful than ever for those magic little pills and an insurance plan that covers them in full. While I was pregnant I had to forgo my prescription, but I knew the moment he arrived that I needed to have them handy ASAP. I still don't know how my mom raised two kids and taught all those years without ANY medication. Gah, I can't even imagine. She's a saint.

EATING: Sweet decadence! For those of you who frequent Trader Joe's, did you know they have a Cookie Butter Cheesecake?! I've yet to try it (obvi), but I saw it while scrolling through Instagram and angels started singing. How's that for a Christmas miracle?! It behooves me to pass this kind of groundbreaking information along to you so you can run (don't walk) to your local store. Be a gem and get your hindquarters to the freezer section stat so you can eat a slice, or three, for me. Stat means now, people.

*Note: Instances like these make it acceptable to be a bossy pants. Am I right, Tina?! You can thank me later for being assertive.

LISTENING TO: You know a song is a big deal to me when I make the following declaration: "This is SO the song I'd pick if I was ever a guest on Ellen." Yep, cue the dorky mom dance, y'all. It's precisely how I feel about Uptown Funk by Mark Ronson featuring Bruno Mars. I've listened to it nonstop for several weeks now, and I don't think it will ever get old. In fact, The Rig's bumpin' bass and Max's first smile can be attributed to this groove. Diaper changes and trips to Wally World just got a lot more fun.

FEELING: When I look at the picture above, it makes me laugh and smile for a slew of reasons. You see, the past few weeks have been filled with messy top knots and frazzled tears. Nothing can prepare you for being a new mom. NOTHING. In the last month, I've found myself trying SO hard to take each day in stride. Strive for grace not perfection, right? Choose laughter over tears. Pray hard and just be grateful for a fresh start the next day. While I try to practice all of those habits on a daily basis, I had to let myself melt. It was bound to happen, quite honestly. Max has not been an easy baby by any means. I started babysitting when I was 10 years old, and my mom was a daycare provider, I know that babies fuss and cry (yada yada yada). I like to think I came into this with a pretty realistic view of what life would look like as a new mom. However, our love nugget was relentless and inconsolable. I didn't enjoy anything about him—well except for the part where I'd coordinate our outfits, but even that was short lived. Ha! I couldn't allow myself to delight in peaceful moments like feeding and sleeping because I dreaded when they were over and he'd return to his screaming fits. Hesitant to vocalize what I was feeling, I finally shared these sentiments with a select few. I mean, what mom admits that she doesn't particularly enjoy her child? I pride myself in loving the weirdos in my tribe in a really BIG way, but it felt like I was giving him every ounce of gusto I had left in me. Nothing seemed to work. Surely my tenacity would prevail, right??

While I struggled to connect with Max, Lady Google and I took our relationship to new BFF heights. I spent hours searching for help and reading tips and tricks on parenting boards. I can't say we've fixed our problem in the slightest, but my Type-A note taking proved to come in handy at Max's last doctor's appointment. The conclusion? It's definitely a case of colic. With each day, Flyboy and I are learning how to effectively console him and we can usually anticipate what time of day he has his meltdowns. That being said, we also know what works one day, might not the next. While I continue to sport a messy updo on a daily basis, the smiles outnumber the tears. I understand his colicky behavior is not a direct reflection of my success as his mom; this too shall pass. Some days I just have to get on my spin bike, work out my frustrations, and dream about the fizzy gimlet I'll fix myself at the end of the week. Being a mom takes vulnerability to a whole new level. I have to put my pride to the side and remind myself I don't have to have it all figured out. I just need to keep showing up and love him BIG. There will continue to be challenging moments that test me, but at the end of the day my eyes smile from the love I feel so deeply for him. And if one day he adores his parents as much as I love mine, the hard stuff will make it SO worth it.

THINKING ABOUT: Speaking of migraines, the wrapping paper selection at our Wal-Mart is kind of stressing me out. For the past few years, I've been spoiled by Target and now I'm paying for it BIG time. If it's not related to the movie Frozen or a tacky Santa, it's 99-cent wrapping that rips every time you fold or tape it. Yeesh, why must I obsess about minutiae like paper thickness and cute patterns? It's a blessing and a curse, I tell you! Old Ashley would step up to this sort of challenge and get all creative with it. New Ashley doesn't have time for that nonsense. I suppose it's time to refer to my other bestie, Amazon Prime, for assistance.

WATCHING: In addition to smiling, the bebe has started cooing up a storm. It's an absolute hoot! I didn't think the sounds could get any cuter, but then I caught the expression on Beesly's face. She's so curious about Max's high-pitched sounds. I still don't think she knows where the noise is coming from, but the look on her face is off-the-charts A-DORABLE!

READING: I heard Harvey Karp's Happiest Baby on the Block is a great resource for new parents, but who has time to read? In the event I do have time to flip pages, I'd prefer to pore over the latest issue of Domino. Sorry, Max! Your mother chose design candy over baby books. Yep, cue the mom guilt already. What's a girl to do? See if they have a DVD, that's what she does! So Flyboy and I sat on the couch one night last week and devoted an hour to a goofy film from the late 80s/early 90s. The hair styles and accessories were epic, but the techniques we learned to calm a crying baby proved to be even more fruitful. I'd say it was $10 well spent. I mean, you can't even go to the movie theater for that kind of cheap infotainment.

LOVING: Did anyone else keep close tabs on Will and Kate this week?? SWOON! I nearly fainted from all the fabulosity. How often do you get to use Kate, Beyoncé, and Jenna in a sentence?? Best. Week. Ever. Oh, to be a fly on the wall...

Enough about me. How are you feeling today? What are you up to? Thanks for stopping by!!