Trivial Matters

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As Flyboy spends the next week carb-loading, stretching, and preparing his gear for the Honolulu Triathlon on Sunday, I can't help but think of one trivial question: What's the appropriate attire for a non-athletic spectator at an event like this? As silly as it might sound, I know this is the sort of thing that Mindy would ponder.

Here's the deal, I'm super excited for FB. He's worked really hard, and it seems as though we've been waiting for May 19th to roll around for awhile. I think I'm more elated about the idea of having baked goods in the house again, but I digress. While I won't be running, cycling, or swimming, I'll be representing Team Fine — a duty I don't take lightly.

Five years ago, FB ran the St. Louis Marathon, and I packed the best survival kit. After all, preparedness is my middle name. The kit was complete with udder balm, a variety of band-aids, foot powder, extra socks, granola bars, safety pins, packages of flavored GU, etc. You better believe me when I say there would be no nipple chafing on my watch! For weeks leading up to his 26.2-mile adventure, I researched marathon tips, meal plans, and advice. Since I'm not the kind of girl that can run alongside him, I found other ways to support him (e.g. pep talks and poster board).

I remember showing up at the marathon and being in awe of all the participants; I get chills thinking about it! I have so much respect for anyone that embarks on this sort of feat. I'm that girl that watches the IRONMAN Championship every year and by the end of the broadcast I resemble Tammy Faye. My mascara has run all over my face because I've spent three hours inspired and misty-eyed by footage of the power and strength of the human spirit. It's exhilarating to watch, but I still don't have the slightest urge to participate in an organized athletic event. Ever.

On the flip side, I remember killing time at the St. Louis Marathon and looking around at the other spectators. The majority of the people were decked out in athletic attire, and they made it look so believable. Unfortunately, I still haven't quite mastered that look! I have great disdain for tennis shoes, and I can count on one hand how many times I've worn yoga pants in public. I felt a little overdressed, as though I was one of the few that put on m' face that morning. I hate feeling out of place, but you don't want to see Ashley au naturel. Trust me! And to show up bedecked in baubles, a cardigan, and ballet flats just seems preposterous! In a sea of sneakers and Under Armour, I undoubtedly looked out of place. Perhaps part of me still feels guilty and foolish for being surrounded by so many athletic overachievers while I hung out at the local Panera Bread, chowed down on fresh bagels, and sipped on a hot mocha with extra whip. Don't judge. It was Finals Week at Mizzou, and I was eating my feelings. It's totally normal.

As the triathlon nears, I can already see this scenario playing out as it did in St. Louis years ago. I'll swap Panera with Starbucks and devour an Old-Fashioned Cake Donut in lieu of a bagel. While I won't be working on Final Essays, I'll probably Instagram the Hawaiian scenery and plot the ways in which I'll help FB recharge his body with all sorts of fabulous calories. After all, he'll need to replenish the calories he burned with a post-race victory meal, and I'll be right there to help him with this task! It's rather selfless of me, I know. And while I'm still uncertain as to what my game-day getup will look like, I delight in the fact that as Flyboy tackles all three sports, I can be found waiting at the finish line, basking in the glory of my well-stocked survival kit.